prevention

10 Ways To Stop Bullying

As many people have found a bully can come in a lot of different forms and often ends up being someone people know. The problem is they need to know about the different ways to stop bullying or prevent it from happening to them. Here are the 10 ways to stop bullying and do so safely.
• Keep An Eye On What Is Going On - Normally people do not think about this, but bullying can easily be spotted early on. However, people need to pay attention to what is going on and make sure they are able to pick up on the signs they are being bullied. For example, people starting to talk about them behind their backs or pushing them around it can easily lead to people getting bullied. This is the top of the 10 ways to stop bullying.
• Do Not Think It Will Go Away - Sometimes people will think the situation will just stop on its own. This is a mistake which is commonly made and often by ignoring the problem it tends to get worse, but using the 10 ways to stop bullying people can overcome the issue. The reason the problem gets worse is the bully tends to think ignoring the issue is showing them up and they will just do more to get the attention they want to have and this could easily escalate to the point of having physical harm done to people.
• When Something Is Seen Do Something About It - If people are a bystander and see some type of bullying happen, they should not stand by the sidelines and watch. This is the worst thing a bystander could do and this could easily lead to them being construed as part of the bullying action which is happening while they are watching. However, just by standing on the sideline people could end up as a target to the bully as well.
• Keep Your Cool - Losing cool or tempers often leads to a quickly escalating fight. This is true for people who are a bystander to the action or even being bullied. By keeping their cool, people will finally have a chance to show the bully they are able to keep their cool and not have to be concerned about the bully getting the results and reactions which they want to have.
• Deal With Each Problem On Its Own - Sometimes the bullying will come from a variety of points and can easily lead to people feeling like they are being overwhelmed. This is when people should know they should deal with each problem on its own. If they try to take on each problem right away, they can quickly become overwhelmed and confused on what they are trying to do and how it is supposed to be resolved. A key to the 10 ways to stop bullying is dealing with each problem on its own, instead of taking on each one.
• Allow A Breather Instead Of Seeking A Solution Immediately - Some people will think an immediate solution should be sought out to the bullying. For example, people may have to shake hands right away and this could be a problem for a lot of people because the feelings are still present and the pain is right there. By shaking hands, it could lead to the bully getting to crush the other persons hand, but also could lead to the bully revealing they are still in control of the situation which is present.
• Do Not Pass Judgment - People may be quick to judge the bullies and the people who they are bullying. However, some people need to realize it is not easy to judge and if they do pass judgment too quickly, they could end up selecting the wrong person to punish. Nothing is worse than accidentally punishing the person who is being bullied because they looked like they were the aggressor. A common problem people may is immediately passing on judgment, this is not the best thing to do in the 10 ways to stop bullying and can lead to the wrong person getting punished.
• Make Sure Bystanders Are Checked As Well - Sometimes when people are standing around, they could end up being part of the bullies group. By checking the bystanders out, people can guarantee they are not going to be partaking in the bullying and will help to keep people away from the bullying aspect which they had been doing.
• Seek Out Professional Help - Professional help may not seem like it is something which people need to have. However, when the bullying is becoming a common problem, people need to make sure they refer the bully to professional help. By having the professional help, people will see a change in the bully and know they are going to finally stop bullying people who are trying to help them or seen as being weak.
• Have Help Or Specialized Training - Specialized training is invaluable for a lot of people when dealing with bullies. Some of this training could be how to deescalate a situation, but it could also be the training which people need to have to guarantee they can stop the bullying. Without this, people could end up over their heads when trying to break up the bullying which is going on. After all the training people will have a minimum of 10 ways to stop bullying, but may have more advice. Source: nobullying.com

How to avoid cyber-bullying and keep your children safe online:

• Do not respond to messages when you are angry or hurt. This will often encourage bullies to continue or increase their harassment of you
• Log out and stop messaging if you feel you are being harassed
• Remember you have the option to block, delete and report anyone who is harassing you online or on your mobile
• Find out how to report bullying and harassment on each of the different social networks you use
• Keep a record of calls, messages, posts and emails that may be hurtful or harmful.
• Remember to set up the privacy options on your social networking sites like Facebook in a way you are comfortable with. Children under the age of 13 are also prevented from using Facebook to ensure this rule is adhered to. - Kylie Knight, The Courier-Mail, Jan 02 2013 (READ MORE)

Below are some info about bullying from: bullyingcanada.ca web-site (for more info click - BULLYING IN CANADA). Many children have a good idea of what bullying is because they see it every day! Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose and the person being bullied has a hard time defending themselves. So, everyone needs to get involved to help stop it.

Bullying is wrong! - It is behaviour that makes the person being bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable. There are many ways that young people bully each other, even if they don’t realize it at the time. Some of these include:punching, shoving and other acts that hurt people physically, spreading bad rumours about people, keeping certain people out of a group, teasing people in a mean way, getting certain people to “gang up” on others.

Four Most Common Type of Bullying

Verbal Bullying – name-calling, sarcasm, teasing, spreading rumours, threatening, making negative references to one’s culture, ethnicity, race, religion, gender, or sexual orientations, unwanted sexual comments.

Social Bullying – mobbing, scapegoating, excluding others from a group, humiliating others with public gestures or graffiti intended to put others down.

Physical Bullying – hitting, poking, pinching, chasing, shoving, coercing, destroying or stealing belongings, unwanted sexual touching.

Cyber Bullying – using the internet or text messaging to intimidate, put-down, spread rumours or make fun of someone.

What are the effects of bullying? - Bullying makes people upset. It can make children feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It can make them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. Children can lose confidence and may not want to go to school anymore. It may even make them sick.

Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can have long-term physical and psychological consequences.

Some of these include:

• Withdrawal from family and school activities, wanting to be left alone.
• Shyness
• Stomachaches
• Headaches
• Panic Attacks
• Not being able to sleep
• Sleeping too much
• Being exhausted
• Nightmares

If bullying isn’t stopped, it also hurts the bystanders, as well as the person who bullies others. Bystanders are afraid they could be the next victim. Even if they feel badly for the person being bullied, they avoid getting involved in order to protect themselves or because they aren’t sure what to do. Children who learn they can get away with violence and aggression continue to do so in adulthood. They have a higher chance of getting involved in dating aggression, sexual harassment and criminal behaviour later in life.

Bullying can have an effect on learning - Stress and anxiety caused by bullying and harassment can make it more difficult for kids to learn. It can cause difficulty in concentration and decrease their ability to focus, which affects their ability to remember things they have learned.

Bullying can lead to more serious concerns - Bullying is painful and humiliating, and kids who are bullied feel embarrassed, battered and shamed. If the pain is not relieved, bullying can even lead to consideration of suicide or violent behaviour.

How common is bullying? - Approximately one in 10 children have bullied others and as many as 25% of children in grades four to six have been bullied. A 2004 study published in the medical Journal of Pediatrics found that about one in seven Canadian children aged 11 to 16 are victims of bullying. Studies have found bullying occurs once every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the classroom.

In the majority of cases, bullying stops within 10 seconds when peers intervene, or do not support the bullying behaviour. Students are most vulnerable to bullying during transitions from elementary to junior high school, and from junior to senior high school. There is a correlation between increased supervision and decreased bullying. Bullies stop when adults are around.

How To Fight Back Bullying

• Always think positive – it is “not your fault” that you are being bullied.
• Always think that you don’t have to face the bullying alone.
• Tell someone about the bullying and be assertive.
• Tell yourself not to be reactive – “walk away” if you can.
• Do not fight the bullying with the same, remember that you don’t want to be like them.
• Do not laugh or be a silent witness to bullying, If you witness a bullying report it immediately.
• Do not blame the bully or the victim, gather as much information and report it to the authority.
• Do not dwell on the past, instead think of what you can do to stop the bullying.
• Do not fight bullying by means of forgetting the problems with alcohol or drugs.
• Do not embark into violent or aggressive behaviors to fight back.
• Remember that bullying is mostly mind games that is always plays with one’s fear.
• Remember that the bully might exagerate, create stories, manipulate events to threaten or induce fear.
• Remember that bullying is a crime and you don’t want to be a criminal.
• Know the warning signs of being the victim or the bully.
• Know the cause of bullying, lack of empathy was one common reason.
• Teach your family or loveones about bullying and educate them about the consequence of this behavior.
• Calmness, common sense and physical activity are effective strategy in fighting bullying.
• Increase awareness of your sorrounding and make a note of events and what is your feeling
• For more information about bullying visit the following web-sites: Bullying.org; Cyberbullying.ca; Bullybeware.com; BullyingCanada.ca; BullyPolice.org; SafeCanada.ca; kidshelpphone.ca

Workplace bullies: Prevention - Workplace bullies create a tremendous liability for the employer by causing stress-related health and safety problems, and driving good employees out of the organization.

The business case for strict anti-bullying policies is compelling. Potential benefits include a more peaceful and productive workplace, with better decision making, less time lost to sick leave or self-defensive paperwork, higher staff retention, and a lower risk of legal action.

Identify bullying in your staff handbook as unacceptable behavior. Establish proper systems for investigating, recording and dealing with conflict. Investigate complaints quickly, while maintaining discretion and confidentiality and protecting the rights of all individuals involved. It is important to understand fully any incidence of bullying and take the problem seriously at all levels.

Organizations who manage people well outperform those who don’t by 30 to 40 per cent. Development of strong interpersonal skills at all levels is fundamental to good management and a healthy workplace.

There is no place for bullies in a well-run organization. Source: Canada Safety Council

Prof. Kenneth Westhues (sociology, University of Waterloo): “mobbing” as, “an impassioned, collective campaign by co-workers to exclude, punish, and humiliate a targeted worker.” The term has gained international recognition, in Europe the term “mobbing” has become a common phrase and France has even passed anti-mobbing laws. Despite anti-mobbing/anti-bullying policies, Westhues’ research shows that the phenomenom is still alive in academia today. A group of European academics host a mobbing blog for academics to discuss the issue as well as serve as a forum for academics who have personally experienced mobbing (Workplace Bullying in the Academic World?).

PARENTS - If your child is being victimized by a bully, the following suggestions may be useful when addressing the problem:

Ask the child directly. Often children do not wish to tell their parents due to shame and embarrassment, or fear that the bullies will retaliate if they tell. Look for signs such as: fear of going to school, lack of friends, missing belongings and torn clothing, as well as increased fearfulness and anxiety.

Work with the school immediately to make sure your child is safe, that effective consequences are implemented, and that monitoring at school is adequate. Advocate for involvement of the bully’s parents. If the bullying is happening on the way to and from school, arrange for the child to get to school with older, supportive children, or take him or her until other interventions can take place.

If your child is timid, and lacks friends, try to arrange for your child to participate in positive social groups which meet his or her interests. Developing your child’s special skills and confidence in the context of a positive social group can be very helpful.

Suggest that the school implement a comprehensive anti-bullying program. A home and school association meeting to discuss and support such an initiative can be helpful.

The main goal in helping your child to deal with bullying is to help him or her regain a sense of dignity and recover their damaged self-esteem. Holding your anger, never getting physical or bullying back, acting brave, walking away, ignoring the bully, using humour, talking about it, using the buddy system and developing more friendships by joining social organizations, clubs, or sports programs all help ward off bullies.

If your child is being aggressive or bullying others, the situation needs to be taken seriously, not only for the children who are being bullied, but for your child as well. Children and youth who bully others often get into serious trouble later in life, some obtaining criminal records, as well as having continuing trouble in relationships with others. Here are some things that you can do to turn the situation around.

Talk to your child, talk to his or her teachers and administrators. Keep in mind that a bully will try to deny or minimize his or her wrongdoing.

Make it clear to your child that you will not tolerate this kind of behaviour, and discuss with your child the negative impact bullying has on the victims. Do not accept explanations that “it was all in fun.”

Arrange for an effective, non-violent consequence, which is proportional to the severity of your child’s actions, and his or her age and stage of development. Corporal punishment carries the message that “might is right.”

Increase your supervision of your child’s activities and whereabouts, and whom they are associating with. Spend time with your child, and set reasonable rules for their activities and curfews.

Co-operate with the school in modifying your child’s aggressive behaviour. Frequent communication with teachers and/or administrators is important to find out how your child is doing in changing his or her behaviour.

Praise the efforts your child makes toward non-violent and responsible behaviour, as well as for following home and school rules. Keep praising any efforts the child makes.

If your child is viewing violent television shows, including cartoons, and is playing violent video games, this will increase violent and aggressive behaviour. Change family and child’s viewing and play patterns to non-violent ones.

Make sure that your child is not seeing violence between members of his or her family. Modelling of aggressive behaviour at home can lead to violence by the child against others at school and in later life.

Seek help from a school psychologist, social worker, or children’s mental health centre in the community if you would like support in working with your child. Source: Victims of Violence

There is less tolerance for bullying in schools now, but many parents still don’t know how to protect their kids against it. Here are five ways to help them cope...

Try role-playing - For kids of any age, particularly little ones, the easiest way to teach them how to deal with a bully is to role-play. Show them how to stand up, tell another child that they don’t like being hit or teased, and then walk away. If they learn early that the best way to handle a bully is to show strength and walk away, they’re much better equipped to deal with problems when they get to ‘big school’.

Lead by example - Being a good role model doesn’t just mean you should never bully anyone yourself. It’s also important to model confident behaviour. If your kids hear you complaining that you’re not good at anything or you’re not able to stand up to a difficult person at work, they will be listening and learning.

Set realistic goals - Confident kids are less likely to be bullied. The best way to instil confidence in them is to help them to be realistic. Whether they’re upset their drawing isn’t perfect or they’re not the best swimmer, help them to understand they’re expecting too much. Encourage them to enjoy learning, rather than aiming for perfection. Perfectionism should be stamped out as soon as you notice it.

Resolve conflict - If you always step in when the kids are fighting with each other, they never learn how to resolve things. If you hear or see your kids squabbling, leave them be for a while to see if they can sort it out themselves. If you do step in, encourage them to use their words and tell their sibling what the problem is or what they want.

Teach about empathy - When you teach your kids to have empathy for others, they begin to understand that another child’s behaviour may be due to a lack of confidence or a difficult home life. When they have empathy for others, they are less inclined to take things so personally and their confidence can remain high. And an empathic child is less likely to become a bully themselves. Source: 5 ways to bulletproof your kids against bullying Written by Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble,

Bully Proof: A To-Do List Here is a list of do's that really worked for my family when we were dealing with bullying.

Maintain a positive home environment. It’s important that bullying doesn’t become the family's only focus. Children need to know that there is joy and hope in life. When our kids come home, we have a routine of shaking off the problems of the day, at least for a while. Something as simple as a fun snack or activity can help a kid leave their worries behind and understand that the larger portion of their day is good. I’ve created a pie chart art project, which helps put it all in perspective. Go here for more details.

Encourage them to confide in you. It’s really difficult to maintain objectivity when a child tells you they’ve been mistreated. But it’s important to react well. The first thing I do is calmly repeat back to them what I'm hearing. If they say, “He hates me, and he’s so mean!” I say, “OK, he isn’t treating you well. It really hurts your feelings, and it’s not fair.”

Teach them the difference between bullying and someone simply being rude or thoughtless. Let’s face it. Kids are not always so nice. Adults aren’t always so great either, but there’s a difference between someone carelessly hurting your feelings, and being the target of bullying.

Arrange for extracurricular activities that involve kids with common interests. Make sure to encourage play dates and sign up for classes with kids from their school, as well as kids in neighboring towns. It’s important that they see many opportunities to build friendships.

Give them a strong life focus. We spend endless hours imagining the future at my house. Without a destination in mind, it’s impossible to make a plan to get there. I do an exercise in my workshops called My Most Incredible Dream Life that helps kids realize that today is temporary and it will get better.

Help them create a happy bubble. By helping my kids choose to be happy, it made them feel empowered. I do an exercise called the Happy Bubble that teaches children to create a circle with their arms and fill it with memories where they felt confident. I remind them that nothing can pop the bubble because it’s filled with memories and nobody can take those away. Source: There's No Such Thing as a Bully Written by Taryn Grimes-Herbert, Yorktown.patch.com, March 5, 2011

Educators: Ridley College Lower School students know just what to do in order to combat bullying thanks to a new initiative at the school. Today, students participated in "The Power of One", a presentation about how bullying happens and how we can stop it? Students learned that bullying is hurtful, purposeful and repeated behaviour and that even if they are a bystander they are guilty of letting bullying happen. Five brave volunteers were brought up on stage to act out a bullying scenario, watch what happens... The Power of One Anti-Bullying Presentation at Ridley College

Educators can’t shirk their responsibility for addressing the problem of bullying. By seeing bullying as an issue rooted in community values, ethics, and moral courage, they can do two things:

First, help students understand that, as a community, their school needs to operate by humanity’s shared ethical values — fairness, respect, compassion, honesty, and responsibility — and that bullying violates all of them. Bottom line: There are no ethical bullies, and ethical communities can have no tolerance for bullying.

Second, teach students about moral courage — the willing endurance of significant danger for the sake of principle. Help them understand that in the triangular relationship of bully, victim, and onlooker, the bully has only the fake courage of bravado. Real courage resides in the victims who, like Bertie, rise to victory despite the bullying — and in those onlookers who, feeling their own values violated by the disrespect and irresponsibility of the bully, find courageous ways to intervene, speak up, or bear witness in ways that crimp or stop the behavior. Source: Bullying and Courage: Why The King’s Speech Speaks to Us Today Written by Rushworth M. Kidder